The Rise of Geeky Glasses and The Confusion that Ensued

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Ya know what really grinds my gears?

Poser geeks.

Listen, I spent my formative years as an emo kid, wearing ripped jeans and safety pins and hiding behind a set of bangs that covered 70% of my face.So “poser” was a phrase I threw around a lot, and it was one of my more meaningful disses.

What I have seen recently is a rise of geek chic in the fashion world, something I wholeheartedly enjoy because I am into both Marc Jacobs and Master Chief.

But, the recent increase in geeky eye wear (horn-rimmed glasses and thick frames and circular Harry Potter-esque pairs) have turned this world into a labyrinth of pseudo-nerds–the girl next to me on the subway may be wearing thick glasses that slide down the bridge of her nose, but she doesn’t know the Doctor from the Master or Slytherin from Ravenclaw, and she most certainly does not hysterically cry over the Catching Fire trailer.

And the biggest offense? When people go out and buy FAKE FREAKIN’ GLASSES that they don’t need and wear them with booty shorts and tube tops to EDM shows. God dammit, that is the worst thing you could possibly do. If you’re going to get nerd frames just because 96 different sexy female celebrities have them photoshopped on their face or wear them ironically, at least get nerd frames because you actually NEED glasses. Don’t buy a pair from Claire’s. I can tell when they’re plastic, and it’s like taking a piss on the TARDIS. You are insulting me.

If you need glasses, wear glasses. I can’t get too mad if you go out and buy a thick-rimmed pair because at least you actually need them. I mean, I’m still going to get mad, but you have a built-in excuse.

But now there are legions of people who look like they’re avid readers of The Geeky Cauldron but in actuality they don’t know their zarkin’ Vogons from their flippin’ Slitheen and THAT, my friends, is a travesty of epic proportions.

Keep the geeky frames for the geeks. I will break your $4 plastic glasses if I see them. You have been warned.

 

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Comments To This Entry
  1. From reading this article I determined that you are most likely very fat in real life.

    Billy on August 9, 2013 Reply
  2. Ahahaha, it’s true that 99% of so-called “nerd” don’t have vision problems at all, it all went on for the sake of fashion!

    Lina Pearson on October 1, 2013 Reply

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